How to: Improve a Horton Haven in (almost) 10 ways

As we approach our final Horton Haven, I am left wondering two things. 1) "How can we make the best of this year's retreat?" and, 2) "Am I too old to be craving chocolate milk?"

Now, the answer to the second question is pretty simple: "Of course not, don't be an idiot; I'll never be too old for that." However, the answer to the first question is not so straight forward. It requires a lot of deep, intellectual thinking, but lucky enough for all of you, I have already devised a brilliant plot that is sure to let us have fun at Horton Haven this year. It also might help us take over the world, but that's for a different day (can you say senior prank?).

Here is how the plan goes:

• First and foremost, we are going to have to find some kind of way to smuggle Chuck Norris and Mr T. into the campgrounds.
• Second, we are going to need a small monkey from southern Malaysia.
• Then we will have to take control of a large robotic panda, preferably one with a stubby tail.
• After that is where it gets tricky though, the next thing on the list is a wide screen TV, with a HD sports package.
• Then, someone is going to have to catch a blind butterfly using only their left knee.
• We are also going to need all of the supplies used to build the raft in Cast Away, including Tom Hanks and Wilson.
• After that we will need sugar, spice, and everything nice.
• And finally, though this one may be impossible, we are going to need Noa to keep his shirt on the entire time.

If for some reason we can't get any of these things though, I do have a back-up plan. And that is to just spend as much time with each other as we can.

-Beau