My lost youth

When exactly do we go from being kids to adults?? I do not know for certain, but my guess would be when you turn a certain age or when you graduate from high school or college. It happens when you least expect. We go from playing with our friends to playing with people's feelings. Without us knowing our childhood slips away into oblivion.... and then we wake up one morning as someone who when we look in the mirror we do not know!

When I look in the mirror now a days I have no idea where the time has gone. I honestly do not feel like I should be turning 18 today. I feel like I should be back in preschool with my mom packing my lunch, taking me to class everyday, and kissing me goodbye. I have been think about the past lately reflecting on everything that has happened to me and honestly I wish I could go back and re-live the past 17 years of my life. I would do so many things differently. I would not worry so much about what other people think about me: I would hug my parents everyday three times a day so they would know how much they mean to me, and most importantly I would not have slacked off so much when it came to my school work. I know everyone is always saying not to wish away your life, because you only get one chance at it and thinking back now I wish I would have listened to them.

You only get one shot so why not live the life that you have always dreamed. People are always going to try and tear you down and make you feel like your worthless. This is just part of life, but honestly who cares what those people have to say. One of my favorite quotes of all time is by Eleanor Roosevelt and it says "no one can make you feel inferior without your consent." When I think back on all those bad days I had, because of some drama it all just seems pointless now. Why did I spend so much time worrying about something that in the end turned out fine? I now see as I look back how pointless it was for me to worry about all the things in life that I could not change.

Now that I am a senior, I want senior year to be about something more than just who's dating who and who won homecoming king and queen. I want it to be about leaving my mark or legacy at MJCA. Honestly, how many people in 10 years are going to remember if you were on homecoming court or if you were the most beautiful in the entire school? I doubt anyone honestly will! So why is it that people strive to be these things then?

Our culture has told us that beauty should be the most important thing we worry about. This is why people go out and get plastic surgery to fix what they think is broken, but in reality nothing is actually broken. God made us the way that he wanted us to look and he made us in his image. So basically when we go out and get plastic surgery we are dismissing God and the way he made us. In 1 Samuel 16:7, it says "....Man looks at the outside, but the Lord looks at the heart." All throughout high school, I have spent so much time worrying about how I look when in reality all I needed to do was have confidence in myself and see what others see in me everyday. For the rest of my senior year I vow to worry about things that mean something instead of worrying about the stupid drama of everyday life!

-Jordan-